On Monday, my aunt(with all the little girls) came down and wanted me to get her family into Disneyland. I had a final on Monday afternoon, but I got them in anyways and spent part of the day there. I guess my mom told my grandma and my whole family about what happened between Tom and I. So, my aunt Cathy was absolutely shocked (I guess she had us married or something) and brought all her books she read to nab my uncle Rob.
Let me fill you in on these books. They scream CHRISTIAN CULT and are chocfull of bible quotes. The first one is how to turn your friend into your lover, the second one is how to save it for marriage(oops too late) and the third one is how to deal with a sexual relationship. I guess my aunt had a real hard time trying to get my uncle. She spent four years on getting him and almost wanted to rip his head off the whole time. Right now I want to rip Tom’s head off.
Okay so I gave one of the books a shot, the one with the least bible quotes. It wasn’t too bad and I learned a couple of things, this was the one dealing with sexual relationships. So, I have some more ammunition for Tom. Oh yeah my aunt doesn’t know that I am dealing with a true to the core atheist. So this Christianity stuff is probably not going to work with him, the only thing that will work is appeal to logic, intelligence and influence.
Well my mom seems to think that Tom and I are destined for one another as well, which doesn’t make this break up thing any easier for me. So, she bought some books for me to read too. These ones are about adult children of dysfunctional families, which Tom is, but it primarily deals with adult children of divorce, which fits Tom to a tee. So, I definitely gave those a shot and haven’t gotten to read all of it yet, but some of it explains his behavior. He is used to abandonment and is familiar with it, that is why he dumped me. His pain is buried so deep that tapping into it is like a psychological threat. Just that I know so much about him is amazing, because he is not willing to share all of it with someone.
The boy has major issues. For one, his parents divorced when he was 8. He says he doesn’t remember it and that it didn’t affect him. However, how could it not affect him? Having his mother date guys is enough to traumatize a kid. Not to mention when he was in Junior high, his mother moved him and his brother to Arizona to chase after one of her boyfriends. Then after it was over, she pulled him out of school in Arizona before eight grade to go back to Sacramento. I’m not saying that his mother was bad for doing that, because anyone would, his mother was actually really awesome and I think she lessened the trauma that could have happened, all I can say is look at Danny Sherman. But those things had to have an affect on him, those were crucial years in his life, those are the years when you start to understand who you are. Unless his father lived next door to him and was there for every moment of his life and unless his mother never dated and payed all her attention to him and his brother, then it might not have affected him, but that never happens, because it is too ideal. His father was also an alcoholic, which has issues there too.
It affected his brother to the point that he went gay. It is noticeable in his brother, but in Tom it isn’t so noticeable, because he appears to be a nice normal guy. However, he has major issues that would allow him to screw up any relationship. Even though I know all this I am still willing to stay with him and work on it, so that has to count for something, a lot of girls wouldn’t.
Second issue is the April factor. She dumped him after two years and then got married to someone shortly after. He didn’t have another girlfriend until me, which was 7 or 8 years after the April thing happened. That should have been a red flag. He was looking for another April and I guess I was the closest girl to it and he still bailed on me. He couldn’t communicate to me his problems, because he didn’t want to fight.