Mierda Del Toro…Its A Fine Art

I’m home sick today. Yeah it sucks, but I haven’t been sick in a long time. So, I made an appointment with the doctor today for my malady, but also to see if I meshed with this doctor…since this is the first time I have seen him since choosing a PCP for my HMO. In which I chose this PCP, so I could get in the group I needed to see the OB/GYN that I wanted during my pregnancy. Umm, yeah…I don’t think I will be going back. I’ll try his nasal sprays and I’ll even give getting more sleep and not pushing myself so much a shot…but I don’t think I will be going back.

I can’t say that he isn’t a good doctor, he probably diagnosed me well and even asked the right questions. He provided a diagnosis for all my strange little maladies that I have and pretty much said they were all related to my migraines. Which is good, it just means I need to slow myself down a bit. But I can’t deal with the holistic doctors…we just don’t mesh well. I don’t think meditation is a good prescription for righting oneself. I think if people choose to meditate, great! Have fun doing it, but IMHO a doctor just shouldn’t be prescribing it as the mode to curing migraines and stuff.

I went in today for my nasal problems. I’ve had bad nose bleeds, nasal congestion, nasal dryness and just about everything that can happen to a nose lately. Its itchy all the time, my head feels like a great big balloon thats going to fly away any moment and I’m just sick and tired of the nose issues. I’m done and I’m about ready to just cut it off and chuck it to the wind. I was looking for some drugs, some antibiotic, something…cause I know my sinuses and I know if I don’t get something, I’ll be back next week for another visit with a really bad sinus infection. I left with some nasal sprays and the doctor telling me to get a meditation CD! I went for the nose, not the migraines, not the IBS, not whatever else he wanted to diagnose me with. So, I think I will be getting a second opinion. I don’t know about you, but I like my doctors old skool, I don’t like them holistic and into chinese medicine and voodoo…I rate that about as high as I do acupuncture and chiropractors. I am an engineer, a scientific mind. I’ll buy that most of my maladies are related to my migraines, but I can’t buy into solving migraines with meditation CDs. I’ll buy into the fact that lack of sleep decreases your health and can make you sick, that pushing too hard will push you into the hospital, but I can’t buy into meditation CDs.

Do, you see my running theme here? Meditation CDs are not the cure for everything. Lifestyle changes can make positive impact on your health, but please…MEDITATION CDS?! Whatever happened to, “Here’s an antibiotic and a cough syrup, come back if you don’t start feeling better in a week.”? I know I live in Hippyville (NorCal). Ok, I get that…I get that people like their birkenstocks, don’t like to take prescription drugs, do not like additives, artificial coloring, artificial sweetener, are au natural, ride their bikes fucking everywhere, drive hybrids and all that crap. Fine, great, but can I please find a doctor that speaks English that I can understand (without an accent)…a white guy…who isn’t all into holistic medicine?

Might I add briefly that the nasal sprays have given me a headache just now.

I am not a meditation kind of gal…the most relaxed I get and this has been a struggle for me…the most relaxed I can get is to knit. That is the most relaxing thing I can do. As a result of knitting and changing jobs, my blood pressure has lowered significantly. I no longer have high blood pressure. I also have managed to cut most caffeine that I used to ingest, out of my diet. I only allow myself caffeine for lunch, because I know it has negative effects on my health. I have gotten a bit hippyified…but not so far as meditation CDs…its a little too odd for me. Seems unnatural…when I have tried to meditate, I have gotten worked up and amped up over not doing it right and feeling bad because it doesn’t make me feel anymore relaxed that when I wasn’t meditating.

You know what works for me, better than meditation? Sex. A simple orgasm relaxes me far more than meditation ever could. Sex is my meditation. <--I should coin that phrase.

I'm getting a little off track here. Holistic doctors. Yeah, I saw one about 5 years ago, again looking for a PCP for my HMO...and it was a woman doctor...y'all know how I feel about woman doctors. Only then, I had only had men doctors and I thought it would be kinda cool to see a woman doctor, so I gave this woman doctor a try.

UGH! First, she told me I was fat and lectured me on how I needed to eat half of what I normally ate and that if I lost weight I wouldn't end up with my mother's problems. She reduced me to tears, because no one likes to be picked on about their weight...and might I add, at this point I didn't even weigh my heaviest...I was probably 10-20 pounds overweight...thats not very overweight, considering I have been 40-80 pounds overweight. So, after I was reduced to tears, she asked me what was going on with my life that I had to cry. Then told me I must have depression and that I needed to go talk about it with a psychiatrist...which mind you, I was crying because I was being berated by this catty, holistic, woman doctor who not only called me fat, but psycho by this point. Yeah, I left, never came back and complained to the medical center about her.

So, anyhow...now I have to find a new PCP, cause I can't deal with holistic medicine doctors. I just want a doc that will prescribe me antibiotics for my sinuses when I need it, understands my migraines and prescribes me Nortriptyline when I need it. It isn't hard folks. I don't want a diagnosis on my life and I don't want to be told to go meditate. Thats complete bullshit! Don't get me wrong, I read Eckhart Tolle and I buy into it...I just don't buy into doctors prescribing meditation, when what they need is medication. I don't go to the doctor for every little thing, I only go when I can't deal with feeling the way I do when I feel sick. I ain't no hypochondriac who goes to the doctor every other week.

Anyhow, enough of my rant. I'm going to go find another doctor, where my copay won't be wasted. One more thing, I don't want to be given a choice as to taking a prescription for a drug or not, JUST FUCKING PRESCRIBE IT. If its something like Vicodin, I'll decide later if I need it or not, just prescribe the whole damn bunch of medications...it shouldn't be debatable.