Its that time of year again…Spring Cleaning for my blog. I desperately need to update WordPress again. I also think I need to do a face lift for it…maybe something that is a little more San Jose-ish. I haven’t posted any pictures of anything, besides my last post in a very long while. However, this doesn’t mean I haven’t been taking any. I just haven’t been sharing. Eventually, when I get the energy, I’ll post some pictures I took locally. I have some awesome pictures of Yosemite, Elephant Seals, an Alpaca Farm, and a Ranch with some Seaside Chilling Moo-doggies (a.k.a. Cows). I’m thinking of using some of these pictures in my new blog template.
I may actually build the template from the ground up. The standard template that I have been using, just has some simple image changes. That works pretty well right now, but it all seems to look the same to me. I need to get out of the blog rut. But seriously, not so much has been going on. Life is more or less the same everyday. I go to work, I come home, I cook dinner, I do dishes, I watch a couple of hours of TV with Mikey and I knit while I am watching TV. Then on the weekends, I go grocery shopping and run errands. Thats about it. We do go to the movies most Friday nights, but that hasn’t been much of a good experience lately, its more annoyance than the price of the ticket for admission is worth. Maybe I’ll do a post on that later on.
Work is good, fulfilling in a way that I always have wanted out of a career. I just work A LOT, which doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for much else. Over Xmas, I planned to take 2 weeks off. The first week I was officially “On Vacation,” I was called almost every single day for help on something. I like being valuable to my job, but this really goes to show that I can’t take a real vacation from work. Even when I am on travel for work, I get called for issues happening back at my job site that I need to take care of. I haven’t even had the time to talk to any of my friends down South.
True to my word, I’ve been quite busy. I’ll let you know a secret. The only time I have to check email, is when I am in the Lady’s Room. Is that sad? This is the reason an iPhone for me, makes sense. At least I can check my email on it and respond…albeit from the lady’s room, but sometimes I do get to respond. I take half days most Fridays, as often as I can. I work enough hours in the beginning of the week to take half of Friday off, but sometimes I can’t get away from work to have my half Friday. Especially, in the beginning of this year. The past couple of weeks I’ve been more firm on leaving by noon on Fridays. No one is going to look out for me, except me.
Even with my half Fridays, the rest of Friday isn’t really for me. I go to my Weight Watchers meeting, that is for me. But then I come home and do a list of crap for the house, or for Mikey…never for myself. The point to half Fridays, was to have more time for myself and to unwind. However, this is clearly not happening like it should. Friday ends up being the day I have to drop stuff off at the Post Office for Mikey, or cleaning some part of the house so I don’t have to hear complaints about how we live in filth (which we live far from, but which I hear on an almost daily basis anyhow), or running to the store so that it is one less place I have to go to on the weekend. Its either doing things for the house or for Mikey or for the dogs…or I will have to go back to work or call in to a meeting or two for work.
Since I don’t get a lot of time to call my friends, I usually don’t get time to call my mother either. Which means that when she gets around to finally calling me, I end up paying the “Mom Tax.” That’s where she keeps me on the phone for hours, complaining about her life, updating me on Susan, her job, how horrendous my dear brother has been to her, how stressful her job is, and blah blah blah. Its not like I don’t appreciate talking to my mother, but sometimes I feel like her reason for calling is a means to an end. To dump all her crap on someone. I am not a therapist and I didn’t want to be one for this reason.
For once, I would like to have someone tell me something good that happened in their life or their day. Just once. Everyday I try very hard to keep a positive frame of mind, to keep positive thoughts constantly flowing through my mind. It is SOO GOD DAMN HARD to do. I don’t think I have to tell you all why, most people know why. But by keeping positive, I can keep a smile on my face throughout the day so I can get through work and do what I need to do successfully. I feel like I get to be the person that everyone dumps their crap day on. My friends that I do get to talk to dump their crap day on me and my co-workers dump their crap day on me. Its probably because I am a good listener, I don’t judge and I try to be supportive. But some days I am not really up for it. Is it so hard to just forget the petty bullshit and be happy?!
Luckily, I have a reason to be negative, I have a reason to be upset, depressed, angry, sad in all the darkest recesses of my mind. I unlike most people I know, have forgotten the petty bullshit. Out of every single God damn person I know, I alone have a reason not to be happy. But you know what? I try really hard to be happy, some days I achieve happy, but most days I am really good at pretending. Do you know how hard it is to do that without the comfort of comfort food? It is soo hard that it saps my energy most of the time. And I have also kicked the caffeine addiction out of my system, so when my energy is sapped, it is completely drained out of me. I also don’t dump my crap days on anyone, cause I don’t have anyone who would listen anyhow. All those people who dump their crap day on me are one uppers. If I tell them I have a headache, they tell me they have a migraine. I tell them I have allergies, they tell me they have pneumonia. If I tell them that I have to work through my lunch, they tell me they have to work through the weekend. etc. You get the idea. So its not really worth dumping any of my crap days on people who do not provide any kind of the validation that I provide them. The few times I have said something about something bad that happened to me, if I haven’t been one upped, I’ve been talked over. TALKED OVER! What the cock is that?!
So next time you see me or talk to me, don’t dump your crap day on me. Tell me one thing good that has happened in your day or your life, cause I’ve got enough negative thoughts to keep out of my mind for a 100 people. Give me a dose of happiness, that’s all I ask.
***********Update***********
Mikey wanted me to let you all know that he hasn’t turned into Hitler. In his defense I was throwing him under the bus in some of this. Most times he just says we live in filth, because it makes him laugh to see my pissed off face. BOYS!
Also, to bring some karmatic humor to this, I got stung by a bee after he read this. The universe does come to his defense.
Also, also, I just went to check out what this Twitter business is…I left Twitter scratching my head…isn’t this just facebook without all the extras? Would any of you like me to do a Twitter? Ah, hell, that would just be another thing to update. Nevermind, I am not Twittering. I will not do it, that is unless a bunch of people absolutely wish me to. But no one is reading this anyway, so I guess I won’t have to do it.
April 1st, 2009 at 6:41 am
Hey you.. welcome back.. Reading this post makes me say “give me your address”
Serious email me your address and I will send you all the information you need about my business.
Make you own hours.
Work when you want.
Make lots of money.
Not to mention help you with your weight loss? I am right there with you sister…